Heaven Cries Along With Me
by theabridgedkuriboh
Summary: Baku looks back on his regret and remembers the night he lost her so clearly.
1. Chapter 1

This is actually a fic I started last year but never finished. I decided to add onto it. I hope its okay.

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Heaven Cries Along With Me

BakuKugu

The memory you hold of those you care about is precious. Nothing can change that. Nothing can replace them. It's your mind at work.

So when you think back on the good times with those you care about, it almost seems better somehow.

You remember their smile, their laugh. You remember the feel of having them close by. Though, being near them in reality is a much better feeling in its own. You feel their warmth, their heat.

The memory is what you cherish most. Because a memory is all you will have once they're gone forever.

I knew that well enough. The knowing that you have them one day, and then the next they're gone. It's an empty feeling. A want to see them again. But you can't.

So you cling to the memory of them. You want for them to be as alive as possible, without actually being alive.

I can't help it. She was always there for me, me for her. I wanted her there with me, even now.

But I can't. Not any more.

So I hold onto the last day we shared together. When she was happy. I clung to the memory of her smile, the memory of her laugh. It was almost as if she was still here with me.

But she wasn't.

Because I lost her that day.

All seemed normal. A beautiful and sun shining day. The birds sung loudly. The wind was cooling, relaxing, soothing.

I remember her lying on her back, arms behind her head, eyes closed in bliss as she listened to the wind. I watched her from a few feet away, about two or three.

She shined that day. It may have just been the sun. Or maybe it was all her. But she shined. She shined bright. Almost blinding.

I remember how her eyes opened up, just enough to look at the sun, and then over at me. Her grey eyes seemed to sparkle, so much life in those eyes!

When she held out her hand to me, my heart raced. She looked beautiful. I didn't know it then, but I thought she was breathtaking, like a goddess.

I was naive back then. I didn't know what to think. But I was smart enough to take her hand.

Her skin was so soft, smooth as well, like a flower petal.

She giggled as she pulled me down beside her, my body falling into the grass beside her. She looked into my eyes, a small blush on her cheeks as she smiled.

I took in her smile, every inch of it. I had to. That smile was directed at me, for me. I was the only one who saw that smile. It was my own personal memory.

She placed a soft hand on my cheek, I remember how warm her hand was. She was so relaxed, even though her pale cheeks were bright red. I remember that my own began to turn the same red as she caressed my cheek. When I pulled away from her touch, I remember the small flash of hurt in her eyes, but it was gone before I could even question her on it. She covered up her emotion well. But I could always see right through her.

I looked down on her, leaning on my left arm for support. She smiled up at me. I remember asking her if something was wrong.

After that, it was swift. Almost a blur. A shift, an in between of nothingness. A few second gap in my memory, but how that blur ends was clear.

It was hard to forget what she tasted like that day. She tasted of strawberry. Her chapstick. Her lips were soft. I remember how she smiled into the kiss towards the end. She held me close, even after she pulled away, placing her forehead to mine keeping me held down.

I remember being really confused for a few moments after that. I was in complete denial. I didn't believe that she would have kissed me. But she did. It became clear to me the moment she smiled at me again. She released her hold on my head and let me sit up. She sat up with me.

"What was that?" I asked her.

Her cheeks got hotter. "There was no real reason, I guess." She replied.

Not much happened after that. At least, that's what I thought. I had to get going soon after our little kiss. I had to get home. She understood and sent me off. I remember looking back at her as I walked. She stood at her door, waving to me. I didn't wave back or even call back to her. I just turned around and walked away.

I should have done something then.

I was in the livingroom, moonglow seeping through the curtains on the window. I sat on the couch, tv was turned on but wasn't my main focus. I had my computer in front of me. I wasn't really doing anything on it. My evening was actually really uneventful.

With dinner already eaten and homework done I had nothing to do but lounge around.

I wish I hadn't been.

When my cell phone went off at my side, its vibrations shaking the surface of the couch, I closed my computer and grabbed my cell phone to answer the call. I stood up and walked over to the window, the stars shined bright, twinkled.

"Hey, Kuguru." I answered.

I had recognized the number.

"Baku?" Was the reply.

It wasn't her voice on the other end.

I stepped away from the window and stared off with a questionable gaze. "That's me...but who is this?"

"This is Kuguru's mother."

It explained a lot to me now than it did then.

"Well, Mrs. Uki, what are you doing with Kuguru's phone?" I had to ask.

"That's what I'm calling you for, Baku. It's an emergency."

"What happened?" I asked.

All seemed so quiet after that. I listened to her words as she explained what she believes happened. The entire time, I felt my hands shaking. I remembered her face constantly with every detail that was spouted at me through her mother's shaky voice, through every crack.

I never heard the end of her statement. The phone had slipped from my grasp. I heard it crash onto the floor, cracking and splitting, cheap plastic spreading across the small part of the floor.

I was already out of the house and running into the dark and chilly night before my mother could call out to me to get to bed.

I should have done something then.

But it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Regret. It's buried deep in your mind, pushed away to keep the bad feeling in your chest, your heart under ease. It's a terrible feeling. When you regret, it's most likely that you can't fix what it was that you did.

You can't fix your mistakes. It's done.

So, when that regret that you pushed away comes back, it hits you all at once. It's nags at you until you can't take it anymore, drives you mad.

I know that what I did was the wrong choice, but I didn't know it then. I know now. But that doesn't change anything.

I couldn't protect her. Especially when she needed me the most.

When the skies are gray and cloudy, do you automatically assume a storm is coming? Of course you do! It's what you were taught. It's instinct. You try and seek shelter from the upcoming rain.

I followed my instinct that day, and it lead me all the way to hell's gate. Waiting for me was the deity himself, a grin on his dark and empty face as he eyed me down. What twist of fate leads you straight to hell? The strings of fate tampered by the deity who controls hell.

I remember the burning in my lungs as I ran that night. After the call with her mother, she was the thing on my mind. I couldn't think of anything else beside her. Where she was. If she was okay.

My heart was pounding. Palms were sweating.

She was alright. I told myself this many times, over and over again. But in my heart I knew, I knew I was wrong. The negativity jumps at you, burning in your insides like fire. I couldn't help myself. That day, time felt so slow. Distance seemed to extend on forever, never-ending hell in my footsteps.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't break through time! I couldn't jump through space. Oh, but I wish I could have. Maybe if I had the power then she would still be here. I would be able to feel her smile shining at me again another time.

I didn't even know where I was going that night. I simply moved as my feet told me, as if they were leading me straight to her. But how fate shoots you in the back, Artemis' arrow pierce your skin with reality and desperation.

Dark clouds roll in from the coast, thunder rumbles softly in the distance. Zeus' lightning pierces the heavens with anger. But all you feel is the cold chill of Fujin's wind. My skin crawled and my heart pounded against my chest. Tsukuyomi shines down on me with her beautiful light, but if only her light could have shown me the way to her.

The waters of the nearby river crashed heavily against the docks. Warehouses towered the darkness. I could feel a grim atmosphere as I neared the area. That's how I knew she was there. I heard her screams as I ran through the rows of metal housing units, but I couldn't identify which one was hers.

The blazing sirens of the police came next. I could hear them screeching in the distance, but the loudest thing to my ears was her screams. I wanted to call out to her, tell her that I was coming and that she would be okay. But I couldn't find my voice then, my throat was dry, like sandpaper, with no relief. But I hadn't focused on that, but rather on her. She was my priority. She was my everything in that very moment.

But it was all taken away when the screaming stopped. And I saw the crimson blaze of Kojin's flames. The heat that I felt that night was incredible, as if my skin from far the distance I was away, was enough to burn me alive. But I pressed on, my sights set on her, on her smile.

When I reached the hell flames of the night, I watched as silhouettes of men rushed off into the distance, away from here and towards the mountains. But as I looked towards the flames, I saw her. Her familiar silhouette that I would never forget.

And yet, as she walked her body swayed and hung forward. Even in the darkness of the night, the glow of the flames lit up her body. And what I saw shattered my heart into pieces, and my eyes fill with tears as she approached. She was completely unclothed, even the decorative lamps that she loved much were taken from her hair, leaving the purple locks to droop to her shoulders, and blood soaked her body from head to toe, fresh and dripping onto the concrete as she walked. She inches towards me, her eyes dull and lifeless. Even when she saw me just feet away, her expression hardly changed. I remember it so clearly. I ran up to her and she fell into my arms. Her body was cold, like ice. The blood on her body soaked my clothes, but from what I could tell the blood was entirely hers, but some was from a few gashes on her body. She smelled of sweat and sex, telling me that she must have been raped while in their hold. It only made me hold her tighter in my arms, never wanting to let her go again.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to her. She moves her head against my chest, listening to my ecstatic heartbeat as I held her close. Nothing would ever made me let her go. I would have held her until the end of time. "I should have stayed with you. This wouldn't have happened if I had stayed."

She shook her head slowly and looked up at me. "Don't...blame yourself...Baku…." Her voice had been so hoarse that night, I could only believe that it was from the screaming she must have done for those hours she was held. Her fingers clenched into my shirt so tightly I thought it would rip. "I was...careless and…"

"You were in your own home. You weren't careless. You were at home. Home is where you're supposed to feel safe." I remember shouting at her.

Thunder crashed and lightning flashed once more. Rain drops slowly began to fall from the sky, dripped onto the concrete and one hit her cheek, sliding down her face like tears. "I'm glad that... I met you, Baku. You were... always home to me."

The rain began to fall like buckets, soaking myself and her to our skin. Her body had stopped moving in my arms. I couldn't feel her breath on my neck, or her chest rising against his own. She had almost fallen to the ground, had I not held her close. But we did fall to the ground, on our knees, I wept for her. The rain showed my emotions well, dark and gloomy, with rain falling from eyelids. The sky felt my pain in watching her die in my arms. Perhaps even Heaven was crying along with me.


End file.
